Signs

Every day we go through life and we either see most of the signs thrown our way or we miss most of them.  I feel like that scenario when the girlfriend finally dumps the boyfriend yet the boyfriend is oblivious to all that has changed around him, and had no clue there was even a issue.  I guess I am that boyfriend and missed all the signs, I am actually still trying to find the signs, but to my knowledge there were none.   

There are not many relationships I fight for anymore, because at the end of the day there are so many variables that are out of my control.  But when I do put up a fight, and then realize I am the only one fighting I realize that the sign is to move on.  

I can choose to victimize myself and actually have valid points that probably will lead a lot closer to the fact that something was written truly about me, Or I can live by one of the 4 agreements and not take things personal, and leave it as maybe they just had to get it off their chest.  

Lately I have been baffled by the amount of time I have had to spend explaining myself, and anything I have written on FB.  I think it is ridiculous but have been honest.  When asked if something was about someone I have stated yes or no and why.  A lot of times it is my inner thoughts just splurging onto FB with no one in mind, and a lot of times there is someone in mind.  I speak vaguely as to not call anyone out and to simply get the negativity out of my soul.  Most of my posts come from daily struggles, and at one point I was completely understood as to why I wrote what I would write.

Its difficult to grasp that I am no longer understood, and that all of a sudden my Yes or No is not enough to be the truth.  Somewhere down the line I lost the trust that people once had in my words....I find that to be a difficult pill to swallow, but also have to step back and realize it is not my problem.  I can only be honest and spell out what I know....It would just be nice to have the same reciprocated.

Time does not heal what was not broken.....it only creates distance and confusion.  Never thought it would come to this, but I guess I should have known....Another lesson learned...On to making myself stronger and healthy again.