Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder why I browse the Internet in search of other widows.
Sometimes I wonder why I torture myself with Josiah's Funeral Play list.
Sometimes I wonder why I have no answers.
Sometimes I wonder when it will be over.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever stop missing him.
Sometimes I wonder if I will forget him.
Sometimes I wonder if I will forget our memories.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if he was still around.
Sometimes I wonder why this was my plan.
Sometimes I wonder if what I am doing is right.
Sometimes I wonder if he is proud.
Sometimes I wonder if he misses me an thinks of me as much as I do him.
Sometimes I just wonder!