Yup a long time coming, a long time over due. the feelings I manage to shove way back on the mini back burner are making their way to the forefront and without even the slightest bit of hesitation or care as to what it may do to me. A lot has been going on lately, between planning a wedding and the 4 classes I am currently enrolled in, being a mother, sister/mother, friend, fiancé, daughter, widow, oh and did I mention attempting to really get our business off the ground. Yes with all of this on my plate I decided to finally get our website going. There are many things I do on a regular to cope with what my life is like, however it is the moments like these that make me realize there is no escape, and I just have to deal with the feelings. Even though I do almost regularly. There are many things I am frustrated with usually around this time, but I have to let it all go, it is all out of my control and in the end I know that I am doing the best that I possibly can, and that is all that will matter.
So to another year celebrating your born day without you physically being here. We miss you tremendously and not a day goes by that we do not all think about you! Our daughter is growing to be an amazing lil young lady, so full of character and sass. So the opposite of me in her girly ways. The other day I told her "you have your daddy's eyebrows" and if you could see the prideful lil smurk she had as she asked said "i do?" You could see it in her eyes that she was so proud to be a part of you as well as me. I know that there is not a day that goes by that she does not think of you and even ask for you. Know that I will continue to do my best by her and her only no matter who's feelings get hurt along the way. She is our pride and joy without a doubt and she will be cherished as just that. I can not wait for the day to come that she will get to sit back and open the cards we have sealed for her. It will be amazing to see her reaction to know that you took the time to write in them. We did it with out knowing what was eventually going to happen, but there is not a day that goes by that I regret taking the time out to save the cards for her. I know that they will be something she will hold dear to her heart. I am sure you see that some people are still standing strong by us and any decisions I make while, others, well, just have their own issues with the choices I have and am making. Know that I am ok with that. I know the people that will be there for us through thick and thin...no matter what, and that is all that matters. I know that they feel a need to be loyal to you, but if they took a step back and really knew who you were, then they would also know there should be no issues, because all you ever wanted for me was happiness. It is my promise to you. like it always has been to continue to keep your memory alive, and I know one day the size of the group may get smaller and so small that we may be able to count them on one hand....but no matter what she will know her daddy. We love you with all of our hearts and then some!!!!
RIP, Love your Wifey
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