It's amazing...I love all of the blogs that I read, but it is amazing how some can be a torturous reminder of who I really am... Sometimes it is almost like a accident on the road, you can't help but stare even at the risk of creating your own accident. Yup that is me, sometimes I can't help but read, even if it is bringing sadness into my life. Sometimes it is inspiring as well, however most of the time it is just a constant reminder that no matter what I change in my life I will never be able to change the fact that I am a widow! What's strange about that though is that there are days that I would NEVER want to change that, and there are days that I dread saying the word. I know that had my life not turned out the way it has I would not be the same person I am today. But when you have your now 4 year old daughter saying "i want my daddy alive" you can't help but for that split second wish your life was different. I know I am doing all in my power to be the best mother I can be, but I will never be able to change the fact that her daddy died. I will never be able to take away the widow title. So until then rest assured as torturous as it can be to read blogs at times I will continue reading them and finding inspiration and strength from others that are just like me.
No comments:
Post a Comment