What does it mean?

After Joe died it took me a while to go to where the scene of the accident was. And when i was ready he led me there. It answered so many questions and when I saw the area I knew that it was truly just his time. There was no gravel, no pot holes, weather was great, you can see completely through the corner. No reason a skilled rider such as him would go down in this area at all.

The "corner" is what we eventually started calling it. and it became my safe haven. I loved this place and found so much beauty in it. I would thank Joe regularly for having the accident there because it was so serene. sitting on one of the chunks of cement you can hear the creek. This was a spot that we knew no matter what we put there for Joe it would not be removed, thrown away or taken, unlike the cemetery. I used to spend a lot of time there crying, laughing etc. His best friend and I created a little rock path that came from the cross (made out of reflector, by the guys) all the way to the barbed wire fence.

As time went on and I started doing daycare there was less and less opportunity for me to get out there on a regular basis. But I still made sure to be out there at least once a month. On Friday I had a free day so I woke up, took a shower was in a great mood, and started to head out to the corner. I stopped off at the jack in a box first for some lunch then continued my drive out there. I finally get there park my car and am completely caught off guard by the condition of the corner. There are weeds EVERY WHERE, you can almost not see the rock path, his pictures that we have on the cross are faded and almost all the writings have faded off as well. I look around in amazement talking to myself asking what it all means. I look over to where he landed and you see no sign of the accident. over to the left you can barely see the oil stain through the weeds that his bike left. I start over analyzing as I start pulling weeds, wondering what it means, wondering why it didn't look like this last year or the year before, does this mean that I am supposed to move on? I managed to pull enough weeds to see the majority of the rock path that once was created. I tell him I love him and by and head back home...All I wanted to do the whole drive was cry. I get home and talk to one of my closest friends about it. All i kept thinking was I could no longer see the beauty in this place but didn't know what it meant. She had some good advice but I wasn't really trying to hear it. I finally cry, but am in a pretty bad mood the rest of the day. My mom called and took the baby unexpectedly. I totally needed that so I slept for almost 3 hours. I woke up still wondering but knew it would be another moment in my life where I would not get the answers.